LAS GIDI – THE CITY OF HUSTLE

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'Welcome to Lagos' was the first sign you would see when entering Las Gidi some many years ago, just like you can still see ‘Welcome to …’ at the entrance to states like Osun, Akwa Ibom and Sokoto. Today, that welcome address has been changed, redesigned if you will and in my opinion, the new greeting is more in line with what Lagos has become, it says, 'Change Your Thinking'.

Las Gidi - the unofficial re-christening - has become the city of hustle, many men have left the shadows of their fathers’ lands in search of fame and fortune in the concrete jungle that is Nigeria's economic capital. A land where being the king-pin of the infamous 'Area Boys' could mean you become an instant millionaire, a land where being an importer/exporter and selling goods in the 'makeet' (market) is a superbly lucrative venture, a land where owning a convenience store the size of a phone booth can sustain your struggle and a land where there are many suit&tie opportunities, take your pick. Lagos is truly a land for all peoples to turn a profit, if and only if they dare.

The beauty of 'Lag', as it is also popularly abbreviated is that it is not restricted to only Nigerians, not by a long shot. In fact, foreign nationals like the Chinese, Lebanese and Indians have become so comfortable here that you would be foolish to mistake them for 'tourist grade' travellers. For instance, I have personally seen on several occasions my people from The People's Republic of China riding on okada a.k.a. commercial motorbikes, a friend of mine even saw a fervent China-man the other day, arguing viciously with a conductor for his change. If you want to speak of adaptability, I present to you the Nigerian-Lebanese (as I like to call them) who have become so fluent in speaking Pidgin English that they can sell you, a native Lagosian, don't test them. I also hear that the Indians have refused to carry last, they now prefer Eba and Egusi (E&E) to Biryani or Chutney - google Indian foods. I don’t even think there is a need to mention that our African brothers; the Femi Kwames (Ghanaians), Obinna Gnassingbes (Togolese) and Bello Yayis (Beninians) are all present, playing the struggle game beautifully.

Now, let me explain why the new warning to first timers - Johnny Just Come a.k.a. JJC - to Lagos to change their thinking is very important. You see, many in the multitude of nooks and crannies of various towns and villages in Nigeria and beyond hear of the riches and allure of Lagos and rush in, only to discover that most of the shine they have heard of is fool’s gold. People forget that Lagos has been unofficially rechristened Las Gidi for a reason, or perhaps the merchants who spin tales of the vast opportunities that lie forget to mention the other side of the story, these merchants seem to sell only the tip of the tail. The other side is that Las Gidi, Lagos, the city of gidi-gidi is hustle personified. So before you decide to pack your bags and come slumming it Gidi style, remember that this is not Nollywood; you may be an underdog in your village but in Lagos, you most certainly may not become a millionaire.

But hey, don’t let me rain on your parade.

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There are a number of legal ways into Lagos - of course the bush paths are innumerable - and all, as one would expect, see their fair share of traffic. There is the Lagos-Badagry expressway which leads to Nigeria’s boarder with the Republic of Benin, Seme Boarder; there is the Lagos-Ibadan expressway that leads to Ibadan and also sets you on the path to the East; the Lagos-Abeokuta expressway passing by Toll-Gate, Ota, takes you to the Senator Ibikunle Amosun transformed Ogun State capital, Abeokuta (ABK); the Lekki expressway takes you through Epe to Ijebu land, home of the infamous Ijebu garri - they need to patent that product - and then there is the Shagamu road that goes to well, Shagamu, where there is a permanent NYSC camp.

Whichever way you may decide to come through, a concrete jungle is nevertheless still a jungle and the jungle rules still apply; kill or be killed! Figuratively of course. So, always remember that there are vultures waiting for their next meal, don’t become somebody's dinner.

Now, enough with the dark sides and grim tales, let’s get to the beautiful sides of Lagos, the reward that awaits you if you beat the odds and make it to the top.

Within the same city where we have places like Ajegunle and Mushin, we have Ikoyi and Victoria Island; the disparity between ‘I don hammer’ and ‘I dey come’ is deeper than Nigerian men’s love for Premiere League, Champion’s League and international football put together. The real gold in Lagos is beautiful, if and only if you can grab it. When you have been through the pits of the city and you survive, the prize is glorious. A massive house in Banana Island, at least four cars: Benz C-Class, one Hummer, two Prado; next, a beautiful #TeamLightSkin wife or #TDH hubby (your preference of course) and then a 9-digit bank account - you live like royalty!

When you have made it in the city of hustle, problems like NEPA; no light, house; no food and side chick; no allowance become a thing of the past. You have become a made-man - or woman - and you can more often than not do as you please. In fact, you will even be given police escort so that the people ‘wey still dey come’ no go block your road. At this point it is necessary to inform you that some people are fortunate, they do not need to jump into the ring to sweat and break bones, they simply have to be average and their fathers' names will do the rest. Don’t get jealous, if you have any problems with it, go and complain to your father.

It was once reported that living in Lagos was - and still may be - more expensive than living in Los Angeles in the US, but this should not deter you. If you were born with that ‘I go make am’ spirit like me and you believe deep down that you can survive, then I welcome you to Lagos, the Lagos after you have survived the hustle.

See you at the top!

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